Don't worry and just wait..

you can keep whatever you promised them, you can keep that promises you have done for them all these while, i have enough of pain in this life. I have learned my lesson babe, I have learned the hard way. Thank you. Every other day I wish I know how to be strong but I can never be one. I can't let go what I have made as my precious one. You can kill me to make me let go everything that I have carved in my heart. To you and them I may not be important but to me you and them are everything above my family. You all were the place I called a shelter and comfort zone you all were my everything before my family. I won't mind to replace my life for all of you and that will never change. Sorry that I will never change myself and I will keep it this way. One way to make me forget them is by killing me. That is when I will forget and forgot by them.
I love you all too deeply to forget you all easily but if I have to erase you all it is impossible.
Let me be, let me die slowly I will die eventually don't worry I am waiting for my time too..
Just wait patiently so you guys can celebrate once I am gone.

Far From My Work Place But Worth For Her And Me...

Finally she got a job, finally she got a house and finally we are able to live together like buddy like sisters although it may be tiring/exhausted for me but it will be worth to go back to a place call home, and to someone you can talk to about work and the daily stuffs that happened at work. Not only that you can even go out for dinner or have dinner at home without feeling ALL ALONE.. you don't even need to feel emo for nothing and can even go hang out together at night. But at least it is worth to come and go back no matter how tiring it is because the place I am heading after work is always call a home.. :)

Her Interview @ Danawa 18/08/2011 10am :)

A day before her interview I went to her place to sleepover. 1st time slept in a room where Me, she, liyana (her 3rd sis) & Is (Her youngest brother)  slept. I was the very 1st to wake in the morning, couldn't deny I slept badly. I was awake like every few min or hour. All I know was I woke at 5 cause their grandmother was calling them for Sahur but non of them woke up nor hear her calling! *Rolls eyes* seriously I shook her but she just said "erm...mhmm.." and the next thing I found out she was totally knocked out =.= Geez she is so hard to be waked up. I was terribly exhausted that I couldn't even get up to tell the old lady that they are not going to wake up for Sahur. So eventually I tried to close my eyes shut back again but my mind didn't even close at all! Right till She woke up and woke her brother up to school which eventually I finally woke up to and got on my laptop to check my facebook. Around 8 ++ we both were all ready and head to KLCC area where her job interview located. After the job interview she drove me back to my place and then drove me and my other friend to get some stuffs so yeah that was the end of our day.

How I Wish She Is Like My Sister's Childhood Friend Or Good Friend...

I feel so envy whenever I see my sister talking on the phone with her childhood friend, or talking to her good friend which always visit her at her place or take us out for lunch. I wish she was like my sister's good friends. They share almost everything that even I am her own sister never know what my own sister is facing.. Sometimes I just wish I know what my sister's facing or feeling, wish she tells me like she tells her friends. But now I wish I could hear from my very own good friend her problems and secrets. Wishing we didn't need boundaries in between us.
At times I wish I could tell her everything and she will do the same to me but since so many secrets in our life I don't expect anything at all and I respect her and she will be able to keep whatever secrets she has to her own and I will keep mine to myself too. Things aren't important I will share with her but things that hurts me or killing me let those fill my lungs and souls.
How I wish I wouldn't feel envy or jealous how my sister friends surround her. If only my life isn't limited in anyway. God knows how it feels.
How come it's so easy to feel her sadness and whenever she is down...... How come I can sense it? You got them babe, I got only you but I always remember I have many forbidden things in my life not only with you or them but in my family too.

Short Trip For Her...

          It was a short trip for her, only 2 days trip for me & her but I wish in future I can take her back again since there are so many places she haven't been to, especially the mining cave & the rainbow waterfall. It was nice to have her at my place, very very nice and enjoyable though she doesn't talk much. Mum said she has pretty eyes and smile which is true. During our journey back to my hometown I didn't really talked much with her as I was really really exhausted and I slept off during the long journey leaving her looking out the window all by herself, at times I take a peek at her she seems to have her eyes closed maybe she was stealing some naps. The bus to my hometown was seriously a freak == which was the very first time I ever experienced in my life. That bus somehow a regular bus that I have been taking to and back from my hometown to the city which I never ever would go for other buses because of the comfy seats and so on.

          It always popped in my mind weather she is enjoying the trip or no and yes totally I was worry she will get bored as I couldn't take her to anywhere much but just those 2 malls we been to and of course the 1st night itself after reaching my place we went out for dinner and so on. I was happy that I could take her around my town and hope she did enjoy the 2 days trip and hoping there are more to come....